What’s Really Holding You Back?

My 9-year-old son just finished 4th grade, and with 5th grade coming up, he had to choose a music elective. We had talked about him playing drums — he was excited at first, always tapping along to music, curious and bright-eyed.

But when it came time to commit, he said, “I don’t want to do it anymore.”

At first, I just heard a change of heart. But then I got curious. I asked questions, gently dug deeper… and what came out was this: he still wanted to play. But he was afraid of the concert at the end of the year.

Afraid of messing up.
Afraid of being laughed at.
Afraid of trying, and failing — in front of everyone.

And he’d never even experienced that before. He just saw it happen to other kids, and that was enough to plant the seed.

So I asked him: What would help make it feel less scary?
Would it help to talk to the teacher? Try out the instruments? Ask questions about the concert?

He thought about it and said, “Yes, that would help.”
So we reached out to his music teacher, explained what was going on, and arranged a time to visit and try things out.

After that short trial, he came home calmer. The next day, he signed up for the band.

It made me think: how many times do we, as adults, quietly back away from things we want — a new routine, a different habit, a goal that excites us — because of a fear we haven’t fully named?

Sometimes we tell ourselves it’s “not the right time” or we’re “just not motivated.” But often, it’s a limiting belief in disguise.

So how do we begin to recognize these fears for what they are?

Here are a few questions that help:

✨ What’s the real reason I’m hesitating?
✨ What’s the story I’m telling myself about what could go wrong?
✨ Whose voice is this? Is it mine, or someone else’s?
✨ What would make this first step feel safer or more doable?

Maybe it’s more information.
Maybe it’s a conversation.
Maybe it’s knowing you have support or permission to try — and to change your mind if needed.

That’s what helped my son. And honestly? It’s what helps me, too.

So if there’s something you’ve been wanting to start — but something’s stopping you — maybe get curious about what’s underneath. You don’t have to push through or bulldoze fear. You just need a little light on it.

I’m right here with you. 💛
Khalida

P.S. If this resonates, forward it to a friend who’s feeling stuck. We all need reminders sometimes.

Stay in touch:

IG: @K.K.Wellness

With love, Khalida